I have been meaning to sit down and get this started for so long now. Finally, I have built up the courage to get going. It's not easy though. I miss you so much and actually sitting down and writing a letter (because that's what this feels like) is hard. I don't want to have to write to you and know that my words are not actually ever going to be read by you. No. What I want to do is pick up the phone and talk to you. I want to drive to your house, share a cup of coffee with you and tell you about my day. I want to tell you, in detail, about how incredible my life has become since the arrival of our little baby N. I want to ask your advice about so many things. But none of those things are going to happen. So, this blog is my way of attempting to fulfill some of those 'wants'.
My reason for doing this is twofold though. The first part is, hopefully, to satisfy (albeit even just a little) my desire to share N's life with you. But my other motivation is my desire to document his life. I can't believe he is five months old already and how quickly his little life is flyling past! I am terrified that I'm going to forget all the precious moments, special times and tiny details as he grows up. So this, I think, is a good way to make sure that I don't. This way I will be able look back and remember these moments...and who knows, maybe one day he will want to sit down and read about them too.
Mom, wherever you are, this blog is as much for you, as it is for me, our N and anyone else who might find that they can relate to our story.
Becoming a mom is without a doubt the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. But losing you before our baby boy was born was by far the hardest and scariest thing I've ever experienced. Life can be so bittersweet...but I guess you know that better than anyone.
So here begins our bittersweet journey...